Types of Abuse
Dating abuse is a type of intimate partner violence (IPV) characterized by a pattern of controlling and sometimes violent behavior in casual or serious dating relationships. It affects people regardless of race, class, gender, or sexual orientation. Even a one-time incident of dating violence is NOT okay. In abusive relationships, there is a pattern of controlling and/or violent behavior: the abuse happens again and again, and it usually gets worse over time.
The terms domestic violence and intimate partner violence (IPV) may also be used to refer to dating abuse. All three terms refer to the pattern of abusive behavior in an intimate or romantic relationship where one person chooses to control the relationship through the use of force, intimidation, or fear.
Verbal Abuse
Calling someone names, insulting them, and putting them down
Telling someone what to wear, what to do
Calling, texting, or emailing constantly
Always demanding to know who you’re with and where you are
Threatening to hurt you
Verbal abuse and emotional abuse often lead to physical violence. Just because a relationship is not physically violent does not mean that it is healthy.
Emotional Abuse
Going through your things behind your back
Acting extremely jealous
Not letting you hang out with friends and family
Blaming you for everything
Accusing you of cheating
Accusing you of lying
Physical Abuse
Shaking, grabbing
Pulling hair
Slapping, punching, kicking
Using objects to hurt you
Choking, strangling
Sexual Abuse
Unwanted grabbing, touching, kissing, or humping someone in a sexual manner
Pressuring or forcing you to have sex or do other sexual things. Having a partner keep going after you’ve asked them to slow down or stop
Forcing someone to watch a sexual act or engage in sexual acts with other people
Taking or sharing sexual photos/videos without consent
Trying to manipulate or control decisions about using birth control
Misrepresenting their use of contraception (e.g. saying they used a condom when they did not, or removing a condom and not telling their partner)
Forcing you to get or preventing you from getting an abortion
Committing statutory rape
Financial Abuse
Forbidding you to work
Refusing to work or contribute
Sabotaging work or employment opportunities
Controlling how all of the money is spent
Not allowing you access to bank accounts
Pressuring you or forcing you to steal
Not including you to make investment or banking decisions
Forcing you to write bad checks or file fraudulent tax returns
Running up large amounts of debt on joint accounts, taking bad credit loans
Withholding funds to obtain basic needs such as food and medicine
Hiding assets
Stealing your identity, property or inheritance
Technological Abuse
Telling you who you can or can’t be friends with on social media sites
Sending you negative, insulting, or threatening emails, social media messages, tweets, DMs, or other communications online
Using sites like Instagram, Twitter, SnapChat, or others to keep constant tabs on you
Putting you down in their status updates
Sending you unwanted, explicit pictures and/or demanding you send some in return
Pressuring you to send explicit video or sexts
Stealing or insisting you share your passwords
Constantly texting you and making you feel like you can’t be separated from your phone for fear that you will be punished
Looking through your phone frequently, checking up on your pictures, texts and outgoing calls
Tagging you unkindly in pictures on Instagram, Tumblr, etc.
Using any kind of technology (such as spyware or GPS in a car or on a phone) to monitor you