Help a Friend
Intimate Partner Violence Affects Everyone and It Hurts Us All
Helping someone you know who is in an abusive relationship is not always easy, and it may be one of the most difficult things you ever do. But supporting someone who is being abused can help save a life, and there are ways you can provide support without contributing to the danger.
What can you do to help someone who is being verbally, emotionally, physically, financially, or technologically abused?
Some things YOU CAN DO are:
-
Refer them to Day One. If you’d like to refer a young person for legal or social services regarding dating abuse, please complete our client referral form.
-
Listen to and acknowledge that the person being abused is in a very difficult and scary situation.
-
Encourage the person to talk about the situation with a trusted adult or professional.
-
Help develop a safety plan. You can find more information about developing a safety plan in our Safety Planning section.
-
Learn more about domestic violence. The more you know, the better you can help someone you care about.
Some things NOT TO DO:
-
Blame the survivor for the abuse. Domestic violence is NEVER the survivor’s fault.
-
Force or pressure someone to leave a relationship if they are not ready or do not want to leave.
-
Share what is happening with someone else if your friend has asked you not to. Use your best judgment if you think someone’s life is in danger. But be sure to tell your friend what you are doing.
-
Assume the person is fine after the relationship is over. They will probably feel sad, lonely, and confused, and you should continue to provide support. They also may still be at risk.
-
Make your friend feel bad for any decisions.
-
Forget to check yourself. If you find yourself becoming very frustrated or upset about the situation, know when to take a time-out or step back. Be honest about this with your friend.
What if someone I know is being abusive?
Encourage the person to talk to someone about it immediately. Help explain why the actions are wrong, and encourage the person to take steps to stop. Remember, committing acts of domestic violence is a choice.
For more information on what you can do to prevent domestic violence, or how to help someone who is in an abusive relationship, call Day One at 1.800.214.4150. For a printable version of this information, please see our Know Your Rights Guides.